My A-cuteness is Chronic But My Brain is Ironic 🖤
Today I realized that I still grapple with outdated programming about my mental illnesses. In particular, cPTSD, PTSD, and Major Depressive Disorder.
Specifically, the outdated perspective is that these conditions are not "real" or "worthy" of so much fuss. They are less valid than physical or "real" medical conditions.
You just need to go dig deep, access willpower, and do some positive thinking!
Okay seriously, those are good tools in context and provide value in effective treatment. But outdated culture weaponizes these strategies, ripping them from their appropriate context and transplanting onus and full performance expectation onto the individual, alone and unsupported.
It was never meant to be that way. You were never meant to do it alone, let alone unsupported.
Thanks capitalism, colonialism, and the extremes of either hyper-individualist or hyper-collectivist cultural values! Cultural appropriation is not the only flavor of appropriation we get from colonizer roots. Isn't that so neat?
We have to make the individual feel completely isolated and therefore easy to conquer in as many ways as possible. Yay!
Anyhoosers so, yeah. Even as a veteran of neuropsych education, trauma therapy, IFS, antidepressants, and physical impacts to my body from my PTSD or depression - I've been engulfed in fear, distress, and shame trying to coordinate the higher level of care I currently need.
Tonight I am acknowledging that I have chronic medical conditions that happen to be with my brain: "I have a chronic condition, and I'm in an acute flare."
Or to be even more medical about it: " I'm having an acute exacerbation of a chronic condition, which requires a higher level of care and treatment intervention to bring it back to a managed level of control."
I'm actually ✨ not ✨a huge piece of shit. Take that outdated programming!